8 Months and Still Trying, Please Help

cbarnes0405 · #1 (**permalink**) 05-27-2009, 08:48 PM

I dont know what I am doing wrong, my husband and I have been trying since October of 2008 to get pregnant. Thats 8 months too long. I was on birth control pills for 6 years, I came off in October so we could try and conceive. I have read several things about how it takes 3 months to a year after coming off to get pregnant. But 2 people I know got pregnant either on the pill or have only come off for a few months.

I bought those new tests from first response, to determine if Im even fertile and it said I was. Although how much I believe I stick I pee on to tell me if I can really have kids is true, but still.

I have been taking pre-natal vitamins for 2 months. I just bought the fertile aid for women, and Im starting to take that now.

I just dont know what im doing wrong, is there certain foods I should eat to help the process? Is there certain foods I shouldnt eat at all? At this point im willing to do anything. Does stress really affect mens chance of helping the process? My husband told me today (after finding out my friend is now 7 weeks pregnant) that he is stressed on a daily basis, and he says its just every day things, so I cant help him. Im not stressed as much, maybe once a week.

And I mean how much sex is too much? or too little?

Everyone I know around me is either pregnant, just had a baby, or just found out they are pregnant. And most everyone either wasnt ready, isnt married, accident all that stuff. But Im married, we both have jobs and a home, so I keep thinking its not fair, and why cant I have children? My husband says its his fault, he only has one testicle, can that really cause him not to have children??

I hope someone can help me out and help me answer some of my questions, and i know this is really long but I have a million questions. And I just dont know where to find the answers. Most days I just feel like crying, and I really need help with some of my questions

sept09mommy · #2 (**permalink**) 05-29-2009, 09:36 AM

I came off the pill and using no birth control we didn't get pregnant until 13 months later, which was about when I was starting to get really discouraged, as opposed to mildly worried. A couple months before we got pregnant I started taking prenatal vitamins, eating healthier, avoiding stress, stopped drinking coffee/caffeine (risks for miscarriage), made sure I wasn't afraid to gain weight (you need to weigh enough to be able to support the baby), basically took all the same health precautions I would if I *were* pregnant. I've read that you shouldn't worry (or go get tested to see if you're infertile) unless you can't get pregnant for at least a year, and even then, there's probably nothing wrong with you, it may just take time. Miscarriage in early pregnancy is so common, too, that a lot of women miscarry before they even miss a period or know they're pregnant (and they may be worrying that infertility is an issue when it's not.) So I would definitely hang in there. There are different things you can do in the meantime, like getting an ovulation kit to see when you ovulate, etc., so you can see when the best time of the month to try is. You can also ask your doctor about fertility tests (it may ease anxiety) though even if you are told something may be wrong, I wouldn't give up. I know someone whose doctor told her she'd probably never be able to get pregnant and then she did just fine. I'd say try to maintain a regular amount of intimacy focusing on each other so the stress of trying to get pregnant doesn't get in the way. Good luck!