Need advice from strong women! :/

Ash.B. · #1 (**permalink**) 04-21-2009, 04:49 PM

Hi girls,

I need advice on how to stay happy & sane while TTC - when everyone around you is popping out a baby without a thought. We have 2 friends (one just gave birth today & I'm so happy for her) and another one is due in a few months. I have another friend in AKL who's due later this yr and she's like a sister to me so I hate feeling this way when I think of her or any of our other friends. And the small company I just left - a baby bomb went off in there! And a friend of a friend just gave birth a few months ago.

How do you do it? How do you stay strong, put on a smile and visit all these new mommies who weren't even planning or don't feel themselves to be ready for one. I guess I'm having one of those days that you all know too well about

#2 (**permalink**) 05-24-2009, 02:14 PM

All i can say is hang in there - it will happen.
In the meantime try and learn all you can from what they are going through so when you do get your baby you are even more ready.

I know it's hard - my best friend who wasnt trying just found out she is having twin boys! My first thought was TWO??! i cant get one and she gets TWO!! but after my initial freak out - I just tried to be supportive and am actually happy for her and enjoying watching this journey.

Best of luck - i hope you get your baby soon

#3 (**permalink**) 08-12-2009, 10:50 PM

There's no rule that says you have to be happy for everyone else that's having a baby. I know we want to be happy, and think we should be. TTC can be a difficult road for some of us, and allowing yourself the time and space for your own feelings is healthy. And of course we are happy for our friends when they are happy. But you don't have to visit and coo over every little baby if it's not what you are up for.
I think it's a dangerous road to take when we feel we need to stuff our negative feelings down and ignore them, or get rid of them because it's "bad" to feel that way. Moods and feelings will come and go. Allow time for yourself in between being happy for the new moms and babies around you. You'll find grace, first with yourself.
Best to you.

jen0608 · #4 (**permalink**) 08-15-2009, 06:19 AM

Just do what you think will please you and breathe slow. Yoga can also do good on you.