Hell There,

I am just curious to know how other Mother's out there and "Mother's-2-Be" deal with the emotions of pregnancy when your own Mother is deceased? It has been just about 8 years since my Mother passed away. I was 21 when she passed away and I feel that I have dealt with her passing considerably well! Until now.. I catch myself wondering what advise she would give to me and how she would help me handle the emotional roller coaster that can sometimes come with pregnancy!

If anyone has any personal experiences they would like to share or any helpful advise I would greatly appreciate it!

Thank you all kindly,
Marilyn

Marilyn,

My mother will have been gone for 11 years this June (I was 16 at the time), and I can definitely relate to what you're going through. I haven't told my dad and his wife yet but I know I would have told my mom if she were around. I think about how much of my life she's missed and it makes me sad -- not because I've missed out on her doing things with me, but because she really didn't ever get to see her daughter grow up. Now that I am having my own child, I feel so bad for her.
I also know that I'll miss out on a lot of the mommy-info that I won't be getting once this little one is born, and that scares me a little.
Ugh... so much going on in my head.

This probably doesn't help you much, but I'd thought I'd pretty much dealt with the grieving process too until I got pregnant. Go figure.

-Sarah

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Sarah,

Thank you so much for sharing that with me! Even though I wish no one else would have to experience the same pain I had...It is also very helpful to know I'm not the only one! I have the same thoughts and dilemas and I hope that by experiencing what I have...(losing my mother at a young age)...that I will be the best parent I can and never take for granted the bond that I hope to form with my child!

I am happy to say that I share alot with my dad since my mom passed away and even though it was very hard at first I couldn't be happier that he chose to remarry...I believe I am one of the lucky ones to gain a step-mom who treats my brothers kids as if they were her very own grand children!! She called me every day for a week once we told them we are pregnant...You could never tell her that she's not their grandmother! I hope that you will soon get to share your wonderful news and everyone will embrace you and help shower you with the same Love your mother would have!

I would love to keep in touch with you throughout our pregnancies...it would be great to help support one another!

Take Care Sarah

Marilyn

My father and I get along really well now. The first year my mom was gone things were actually okay between us, but 2 - 5 DEFINITELY made up for it. We've come around a LOT over the past few years to the point where I can't go to visit him because I know he'll suspect something's up. My boyfriend doesn't want to tell family until our next appt. (in two weeks), so at least it won't be too much longer now!!!

My dad remarried as well, and even though she's not my favourite person in the world, I'm very glad he's with her. She's never had children of her own, and I know they'll both be excited to be grandparents, but I certainly won't be getting any motherly advice from her ;o)

Ugh... I have to run to work, but I'd love to keep in touch!

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Hi Marilyn and Sarah,

Sometimes I feel that I am the only one that can relate to this type of pain. I lost my mother 9 months ago to a chronic illness and I am currently 6 months pregnant. There is not a day that goes by that I don't feel the emptiness of not having mom around. I have to constantly remind myself that I can't pick up the phone and call her and talk with her about all these new things going on with me and my 1st pregnancy. It is so hard for me to watch A Baby Story and other reality baby shows on television because the extended family is always present and supportive of the couple having the baby. My dad was a victim of a homicide over 8 years ago and my relationships with all of my sister are non-existent, which makes things even worst.

Even through all of this I still know that my husband and I are blessed to be pregnant (we have been trying for over 6 years). He is a good and supportive husband; however, as a man he is not too good about talking about emotional issues. I haven't discussed my feelings with friends because I don't think that they could fully understand what I am going through.

Hey ladies, I am not going to lie. I have NO CLUE what you are going through since I still live with my mom and dad but I will tell you this. This is a huge support network here, I have gotten such great advice and I have exchanged phone numbers with some of the girls on this site (especially girls in the same situation as me, 22 pregnant single with no career) So just remember even though we may never be as good as mothers advice a lot of us do care and would love to talk and listen to what emotions you are going through (husbands and boyfriends can be crappy at that, hell i don't even have a boyfriend to share with) so i just thought I would let you know...thanks! <3Britta