I know I'm not the only single parent out there !

MommytoBrendan · #1 (**permalink**) 10-15-2008, 01:31 PM

So come post single parents can be moms/dads .

By the way I'm Traci Single Stay at home mom to brendan whose 4 yrs old.
He's in preschool it's his last year of preschool!
I been a single mom for almost 4 yrs !

Momma2Maddie · #2 (**permalink**) 10-22-2008, 11:04 AM

Hi Traci! I am Nicole, 26. My daughter Maddalena is 7mo and I recently became a single mom when my not so loving husband walked out on us 2 weeks ago. He checked out emotionally a few months back and was physically procrastinating for lack of a place to go. Now, I am left with my beautiful little girl, debt, a full time job, a condo I cant afford, and a full time school schedule. Please tell me that it gets easier!

MommytoBrendan · #3 (**permalink**) 10-23-2008, 10:25 PM

Hi Nicole,
Welcome and so sorry to hear about your situation. I been a single mom for almost 4 yrs and I do end up in the big hole sometimes rarely 500 - hole otherwise 200 dollars in the hole. Since our child support went up brendan lost his medcaid so I am gonna mail the chip application because when brendan was sick I owe the doctors 100 dollars ugh ! Much more than the 60 dollars i paid for the vet visit for our unneeded cat visit same with brendan appt it wasn't even needed! but i was worried about his tongue! just like I was worried about the cat having some upper respriatory infection which can be deadly he was sneezing badly!

I been trying work at home jobs but no luck for me

Momma2Maddie · #4 (**permalink**) 10-24-2008, 07:43 AM

I feel like I am never gonna get caught up. I dont want to drop out of school, but I already took an incomplete in one class. If I withdraw I will never make the Dean's List again. I would hate to have that happen b/c I am trying to get into a competetive field and anything extra is always great. I am moving in with my parents to help with my bills. It just sucks that I am going from 1600 sq. feet all my own to a 200sq foot room that I will be sharing with Maddie. I have to pack all of my belongings and put them into storage. This just sucks, big time!

MommytoBrendan · #5 (**permalink**) 10-24-2008, 12:55 PM

I did spend time living at my mom and stepfather house for 5 months ! I hope you get along with your parents because mom and I butted heads big time we still do even though we don't live together!

Make sure you tell you tell your parents that your grateful but also make sure they know your the parent. Sometimes when you are at the parents house they give rules as if your a kid forgetting your a mom altogether!

Where do you live? in case if you can't handle living with parents for awhile maybe you can look around for another single mom do to home/apartment sharing . Maybe talk with your job place to see if they have tution help and will be willing to work part time.

You can always try and see if your lil one's father would give child support applying through the goverment is not a 'sure way of getting child support. I'm lucky my ex gives money and that I have disabilties otherwise I proably would have had 2 work 2 jobs.

PeytonsMama · #6 (**permalink**) 10-31-2008, 05:17 PM

Hello Traci and Nicole, I'm Jenn. I'm a brand new single mom to my adorable, 6 week old (well she will be on Monday

) Peyton Elizabeth. Her SD (sperm-donor, I refuse to use the word father or any other than implies there's actually some sort of relationship between him and my angel) hasn't been involved in any part of her from the day I told him I was pregnant (in January) til now. My thought is that I go the best part of him and that my daughter and I are better off.

Nicole, I'm sorry about your situation. Having to figure out money and take care of a baby is HARD. I'm told I make too much to receive any sort of assistance myself but we all know there is a HUGE difference between gross and net pay and money for us is tight as well. Adding in daycare now makes it really difficult to make all the bills but we're eeking by. I hope things work out all right with your folks so that you can finish school in your chosen field.

Momma2Maddie · #7 (**permalink**) 11-03-2008, 02:23 PM

Hi Jenn! Things are tight here as well. My SD is no help besides the $50-100 per week that he gives to me. He sees her about once a week and only because I force him too. Mommy needs a break too sometimes. Basically he is living life partying and enjoying himself. Totally forgetting that he is a married man. I guess when I gave birth he regressed back to his adolescence. I feel bad, but I have left him homeless and flat broke. As much as money is tight for me, it is tighter for him.
Are you going to try to get child support from your SD?

PeytonsMama · #8 (**permalink**) 11-04-2008, 05:51 PM

I spent a good chunk of my pregnancy trying to decide that very thing. In the end the answer I came up with was, no. Granted she deserves whatever money the court would try to make him pay but I watched my mom fighting with both my father, and my brother's father, for the support she was owed and can remember the stress and anxiety it caused her when money she was counting on wasn't there. I don't want to bring that kind of stress into my daughter's life (or mine honestly)and while things are tight, I do make enough to support us. It helps that I'll be getting a raise on my next check and will be looking at another around Jan/Feb when I do the next step on my career ladder at work.

Mostly what it came down to though, in the end, was that I didn't want him to have any rights to MY daughter. He's not on the birth certificate so he has no legal rights unless he wants to spend a lot of time and money on DNA tests and court fees. If he ever tries it he'll be in for one hell of a fight.